Fear mongering

*le sigh*

Offbeat bride posted this awesome blog about "you'll seeeee" and fear mongering. Well, it hit me. And I loved it.

I'm big on positivity in life. Maybe my optimism is my downfall because I have a hard time telling anyone "maybe that isn't a good idea...." If you want a friend to cheer you on no matter how stupid your idea is - I'm that friend.

So, when it comes to divorced, unhappily married or just down-right negative people telling me that my wedding planning will be a disaster or that everything will go downhill after D and I are officially hitched, I want to punch them in the face. The same goes for childbearing, or not having kids, or any other decisions that are D and my decisions to make. When I say "well, I won't let that happen to me, " they reply with the most annoying "you'll seeeeeeee...." or an eyeroll. Well, eff you all. If you won't be supportive, then get out of my way.

Like Offbeat bride, I don't want to seeeeeeee. I am not any of those negativity spreaders. There is no adventure if you don't run straight into the dragon's mouth. I'm sick of people assuming that "when I get older" I will stop caring about the things I care about now. I'm sorry (actually, I'm not), but I won't become an apathetic housewife. I will not let my marriage become unhappy/ sexless/ boring because I didn't try. Maybe I will make the same mistakes as the people who tell me "you'll seeeeeee," but be damned if I'll share in their common misery or allow myself to pretend my experience was exactly like theirs. And be damned if I allow myself to walk blindly into the same mistakes because I chose not to be aware. I will be a new-type of wife and mother. One defined by me and not ridiculous expectations of society. I am me. Me. Just me.

Let's stop this fear mongering. Let's all be like a married acquaintance of mine who ran up to me at a party when she found out I was engaged and said "OH MY GOSH, I am sooooo happy for you. Marriage is awesome! I love marriage! You are going to love it too! Yay!" That is the message I like to carry about getting married instead of all the nay-wishers.

Stay positive out there.

New Year!

Just after midnight, I turned to David and said "we are getting married this year." WE ARE GETTING MARRIED THIS YEAR!

We have finished booking most of the things we need to book: condos, flights, ceremony location and minister, reception, bus to take us to reception, photographer... The only things we have left to book is our cars for Maui and Oahu and our Maui activities. David needs to buy his suit and we have a few things left to order like our invitations, parasols, shirts for the boys, groomsmen gifts, but even that is more or less under control. The more we book, the more this starts to feel real. Everyone we've dealt with in Hawaii has been incrediable - I'm dying to meet all of our vendors and give them big hugs for being peaches. Whenever David and I talk about our Hawaii wedding we feel so overwhelmed with nice instead of stress. We are both so happy that we are having the tiny, sweet, lovely wedding that is exactly what we want - no compromises. We feel a little sad that we aren't inviting extended family, but we decided on this all or nothing approach and it is a decision we are really proud of. I can't even imagine inviting over 150 people to Hawaii with us (what if most of them came?!).

David and I have just started to work on our home reception as well. I keep putting that on the backburner because I want to get all of our Hawaii stuff done before we start looking at that stuff. We are both really excited to see what comes out of that reception as well since that willl be the one with everyone attending.

In non-wedding related stuff, David and I are loving our two adorable cocker spaniels, Oscar and Lola. They are our biggest loves and constant companions. Both will be starting obedience training soon to help us learn how to deal with their issues better. All in all, they are really lovely dogs.

David and I are also starting to plan our post-wedding trips. I'm only using up 2 weeks of my holidays for the wedding, so I really want to go away again soon after. I'm dying to do the whole New England thing - pretending we are preppy, introduce David as the second, have everyone call me Kiki or Kitty, pretend I play tennis, talk about where we 'summer,' pretend that I went to an Ivy league school...ya, know. A friend of mine is going to grad school at Yale (I know, right?) and has invited us to stay with her and her husband in New Haven. We would see a Broadway production in NYC, do the Yale thing in New Haven, spend a lovely weekend in Cape Cod, and see a basketball game in Boston. I'm trying to convince David that we should do NYC, New Haven, Cape Cod and Boston for about 2 weeks in the fall. We both really want to go to NYC and Boston, but we were also sort of hoping to do New Orleans for Xmas and we aren't sure if post-wedding we can afford both. I'm leaning more to New England and David is leaning more to New Orleans. Either way, we'll get to see a great piece of the USA.

Ring & love

So many really good things. Edmonton has been abnormally warm for this time of year which means I'm still riding my bike back and forth to the university and working on my sweet tan. It has been warm well into the evenings as well. If you happen to find yourself in Old Strathcona after 6pm, chances are you will see my handsome boys and I on our evening walk. 

In wedding news, I ordered David's wedding ring! It is titanium and Hawaiian wood. It is pretty much awesome. Check out the talented ring designers here - Hawaiian Titanium.

I mentioned in my last entry that the owner of the condo we are staying at in Maui is a fellow Canadian and giving us a great deal. Well, she has also become my unofficial wedding planner and is giving me a ton of advice. I can't tell you how valuable having someone who knows how things work first hand has become. This is probably the best connection we have made so far in this process. I look forward to finding this angel a nice gift to leave in her condo as a thank you.

While planning a wedding is always stressful, overwhelming and exhausting, this Hawaiian wedding planning has evolved really organically. I'm overwhelmed in a really good way. So far in this process, I've been really taken aback by how warm and helpful everyone has been. I believe that people come together in good times. A wedding, no matter the type, seems like an amazing opportunity to involve a community. The lady we are renting our condo from has been so helpful, not to mention another condo owner that I chatted with online. The people I ordered D's ring from where more than willing to make adjustments. We met amazing photographers during our engagement session. The luau gave us a nice sized discount because it is our wedding and we are bringing lots of people. Another etsy seller is sending me free fabric samples for my bridesmaid dresses. All these advice sites say not to mention "wedding" with vendors because people rip you off, I've found the opposite. Mention wedding and people seem to want to go the extra mile to make it a great experience for you. I love that about people. Today, I'm feeling very overwhelmed by kindness. *love*

Yowza!

So many good things! I'm trying to focus on all the good things that David and I have completed so far instead of freaking out about all of the things that haven't yet been booked and organized. So, here are our "good things":

• Wedding date. It's set. Friday, May 14, 2010, David becomes my wif...err...husband!
• Photos. On July 30th (my birthday), we did some engagement/ family photos with our new favorite photographers, Rob & Lauren. For 2 hours, Rob & Lauren snapped shots while David & I trash-talked and goofed off. Oscar, was very well-behaved and photogenic. In the end, we ordered prints of 6 amazing shots and 1 very silly one.
• STDs. No, I'm not talking herpes, people - save the dates. They are the trendy way to let guests plan ahead for a destination wedding. Also a great way to stop moms from asking you 50 times when the dates are again. We ordered postcards from vistaprint for our save the dates and they should be arriving to our lucky guests shortly. 
• Reception. We've booked our reception! Old Lahaina Luau! It is supposed to be one of the best in Hawaii and they gave us a nice discount for bringing so many people. It also means that I don't have to think about any reception decor, music, food, etc. And you all thought I couldn't give up control.
• Condo. I found us a really sweet deal on a cute little condo in Kihei. The owner is a fellow Canadian who decided to knock off taxes and give us one night free because it is our wedding. We also get to pay in Canadian dollars.
• Dress. The very first thing I did wedding-wise was buy my wedding dress. It is exactly what I wanted. Not "beachy" but not beaded or lacey either. Just perfect.
• Accessories. I have my shoes and my jewelry.
• Rings. D bought mine with my engagement ring. It's nice and plain, but needs something added (I'm taking suggestions). D's ring is a titanium and Hawaiian Milo wood ring ordered from etsy. I just ordered it yesterday, so it should be here in about a month!
• Guestlist. We wrote our home reception guestlist when we were still getting married in Edmonton. We looked at that list, highlighted our best friend and immediate family - bang - Hawaii guestlist. About 40 of our favorite people are getting invited to Hawaii. We'll see the rest of you at our home reception luau!

So many more things to do, but it is refreshing to see all of things we've already done. Yay!

The beginning

We are getting married! In Maui!

I fell in love with Hawaii when I visited Kauai with family friends the summer I turned 11. There are some really great pictures of me on the beach with my Mickey Mouse bike shorts, head gear, frizzy hair and giant sunglasses. David has visited Hawaii with his family. There are some great shots of him in purple plaid shorts posing as a tacky tourist. Let's just say that pictures of us in Hawaii this time are going to be much better.

I bet you are asking yourself "Why would a hyper-over-planner like Kristie give up control over her wedding and have it in Hawaii?" Well, the answer to that is to understand what you want as a couple for a wedding day. When you see yourself in a white (or orange) dress - how do you see yourself doing it? I believe that your wedding should be authentically you. It shouldn't be about other people's choices. When people see you walking down the aisle and partying at your reception, they should be thinking "this is so them!" From day 1, David and I talked about wanting something relaxed, personal, nontraditional, and really fun. Our requirement was that our parents and siblings were there. We wanted something classy, but not stuffy. Most of all, we wanted it to feel like us.

The more we started planning our wedding here, the more David & I started to feel disinterested with the whole thing. The colours didn't feel right. I couldn't wrap my head around logistics of the day. David wasn't helping research vendors. I kept focusing on the dinner we were going to have with just our family and bridal party. I was more excited about my honeymoon than the "big day." Nothing felt right. I couldn't figure out how to be creative with what I was working with.

When David & I started discussing Hawaii seriously and looking at vendors down there - it felt exciting. I could visualize how much fun we all would be having. I would get to be creative with my invites, favors and bridal party attire. I'd still get to pick my vendors for clothing, photography, officiant, flowers, reception, cake and accommodations. We'd still write our own vows and have everyone witnessing sign our marriage certificate. I'd give up control over signature drinks, our menu, decorations, knowing our officiant, writing the ceremony. David & I would get to spend quality time with our favorite people. We'd drink girlie drinks, attempt surfing and get sand in between our toes. Our ceremony would be simple and sweet. Our reception would be entertaining and ridiculously fun at a luau. We'd all eat, drink, laugh, and love. David & I would share sticky hugs with the people we love the most in the world. My tan would be perfect.

So, the details so far:

• Colours: sea glass - blues, turquoise and greens
• Theme: vintage 1960s Hawaiian (think Elvis movies)
• Time: mid-May, 2010. We invite people to hang out with us for the first week in Maui, then David & I are headed to Oahu.
• Location: Maui. Kihea/ Wailea/ Makena for ceremony and accommodations. Lahaina for reception.
• Ceremony: On a grassy knoll overlooking the ocean. Traditional Hawaiian with our own vows and involving our guests.
• Reception: Traditional Hawaiian luau at the Old Lahaina Luau. Then all night partying at local pubs.
• Who: Immediate family and closest friends.
• Home reception: We are still planning to have a home reception later in the summer. This will be very casual and luau-themed. This will be when we will share all our Hawaii pictures and stories.

Thanks for all your love and support. I look forward to sharing this all with you.

What's new?

I had to take a break from wedding blogging to focus on wedding planning. But, I'm back!

What's new with you?

In the time I was gone, I did all this stuff:
-bought my wedding dress
-got a puppy
-quit my job
-got a new job

My brother's wedding is getting closer and closer. July 18th the whole thing goes down. It has been a messy sort of planning from the beginning. Planning with people you don't see often who live in another city is a bit difficult. I love, more than anything, how authentic and real my brother & his fiancee are. These are not pretentious people. I like that we stayed true to their wedding vision of creating something the reflects their culture, their past and their future.

I'm going to admit a little known secret - I'm not a planner. Yes, I "plan" weddings, but the planning part is not my strong point. I don't like negotiating, talking to vendors or contracts. I like flowers, dresses, colours... Design and day-of-coordination are my things.

With my brother's wedding, I've found it hard to book and negotiate with vendors without them here. I kept daydreaming about centerpieces and theme.

I'm so excited to post pictures in just a few weeks! EEEEEEE!

K & S

Above is the inspiration board I did for my friends, K & S who are getting hitched in October.

Their lovely affair is being held at the stunning Selkirk Hotel at Fort Edmonton Park. Lovely. K loves Art Deco, the 40's and vintage. She really wants a puffy pink dress (which I think will look stunning). Their wedding colours are burgundy, pink, gold with some bright green accents.

I really wanted the inspiration board to have elements of who I know they are and what they like. As soon as K told me her location and colours - I got a very 40's, old Hollywood vibe in my head. Romantic, vintage charm.

I think MS Weddings said it best:
"America fell in love with pink and gold during the 1940s and 1950s. The palette, which suggests both the romance and glamour of Hollywood, hinted at a playful femininity and came to represent fine couture, days at the beach and on boardwalks, and lighthearted sophistication.

Borrow from the nostalgic palette of exuberant pinks and shimmering golds...to create a wedding that is elegant without being stuffy. Shell pinks, cherry-blossom tones, misty rose, and cotton-candy pinks are just the beginning.

Combine as many pinks as you like (they mix and match with surprising ease), then crown them in glittering golds."

Be inspired!

My pewter, tangerine, lemon & lime inspiration board. Don't these colours just make you want to grin?

Rainbow?

I'm going to be completely honest right now - I have no idea what my wedding colors are going to be. I'm having some serious problems deciding on a color scheme because I love EVERYTHING! I can put any 2 colours together and see how they would work into our wedding.

I thought we had more or less decided on navy with apple, aqua and hints of yellow. I love these colours together becaus ethey look so preppy & country club. But...this was before I fell in love with the Muttart for our location. It was before I really started searching for things for the boys to wear. This was before I saw all these amazing inspiration boards on Brooklyn Bride. I decided to show D all the gorgeous inspiration boards with grey, yellow and orange. I thought he would wrinkle his nose at the idea of those colours together - but he did the opposite - he loved it! He saw a single photo in an inspiration board with a grey suit with an orange pocket square and he was into it. I may have convinced him of my citrus & grey wedding idea. How lovely would that look? Go to Brooklyn Bride right now and look at the amazing inspiration boards - you will understand my craziness. Plus, the J. Crew 'maids dresses I like come in pale grey!

For the record, these are my current favorite/ possible wedding colour choices:
-Navy, sky, turquoise, aqua and apple.
Inspiration for this came from the cover of the second last MS Weddings.
-Navy, apple/ lime and yellow.
How country club! Imagine with cute stripes & polka dots.
-Light grey, apple/ lime, lemon and tangerine.
Yellow and grey are everywhere right now. I love how fresh and modern citrus colours look with grey.

Ice cream cupcakes!

I was just bumming around Wedding by Color when I read scheri's post on ice cream cupcakes! Honestly, how have I not thought of this idea yet? I thought about cupcakes and I thought about serving gelato - why didn't I put the two together? Huge shout out to Cupcake Bakeshop by Chockylit for creating such a brilliant idea that may become the inspiration for my wedding "cake."

If I do this, the flavors will have to be:
-pistachio with those amareto cookies for the base.
-lemon with a honey wafer base.
-carrot with a vanilla spice base.
-chocolate tofu gelato with a orange spice base.